Wikipedia:April Fools/April Fools' Day 2025/One Affair

The following discussion is an archived debate of the proposed deletion of the article below. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the article's talk page or in a deletion review). No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was locked up, drained of her powers. Wait what is this (non-admin closure) Ryanisgreat4444 (talk) 00:26, 2 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

3PPYB6

This page contains material that is kept because it is considered humorous.
Such material is not meant to be taken seriously.

Compromised by a certain blue number. Ryanisgreat4444 (talk) 17:19, 1 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

War ist Eins oder Vier? AlphaBeta135 talk 17:48, 1 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

— THE ONE ^{(IN / 3PPYB6'S / ACCOUNT)} — 19:40, 1 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

No. No negocio con Uno, Dos, y Cuatro. AlphaBeta135 talk 19:52, 1 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Estoy en el tren de la línea amarilla. AlphaBeta135 talk 20:06, 1 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

¿Y tal vez negociarías con mi amigo Tres? — THE ONE ^{(IN / 3PPYB6'S / ACCOUNT)} — 20:27, 1 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Non, je n'habite pas à L'île des Rêves. AlphaBeta135 talk 21:27, 1 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Bête que tu es, personne n'habite là! C'est disputé depuis 2012! D'accord, mais j'ai retenu la leçon. Plus de cabrioles autour d'AlphaBeta135. Il est enfin temps de signer l'accord! — THE ONE ^{(IN / 3PPYB6'S / ACCOUNT)} — 22:07, 1 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Was ist Eins mal Null? AlphaBeta135 talk 22:30, 1 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Täusch mich nicht, sonst multipliziere ich dich mit null und erhalte dasselbe Ergebnis. Unterschreib jetzt den Deal, oder werde mit null multipliziert.

还想说的: 两个人回玩那个游戏. 别想上你会把我搞成使困惑因为你换过了语言，因为我也可以把你搞成一样. 我会讲6千多语言. 你不会这一样击败我. — THE ONE ^{(IN / 3PPYB6'S / ACCOUNT)} — 22:47, 1 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Und dann, WP:CYN erschien. AlphaBeta135 talk 22:54, 1 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Außerdem, du bist kein "THE ONE". AlphaBeta135 talk 23:11, 1 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Was, wenn ich dir sage, dass das alles ich in Verkleidung war? Ich bin ein wahrer Meister darin, nicht wahr?

Jetzt (drückt nicht-sentienten Stift in deine Hand) UNTERSCHREIB ES!! — THE ONE ^{(IN / 3PPYB6'S / ACCOUNT)} — 23:15, 1 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

WP:CYN AlphaBeta135 talk 23:30, 1 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

THAT GUIDELINE MEANS NOTHING TO ME!! I BYPASS ALL POLICIES AND GUIDELINES ON THIS SITE!!! I CAN EVEN DELETE THE MAIN PAGE!!! DON'T CHALLENGE ME!!!! SIGN THE DOCUMENT!!!!!^{[April Fools' for wiki-legal reasons]} — THE ONE ^{(IN / 3PPYB6'S / ACCOUNT)} — 23:44, 1 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

wikt:Eierschalensollbruchstellenverursacher AlphaBeta135 talk 23:52, 1 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

SIGN IT WITH THAT THEN; I LITERALLY DIPPED IT IN INK FOR YOU!!!! — THE ONE ^{(IN / 3PPYB6'S / ACCOUNT)} — 23:56, 1 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Was ist Rinderkennzeichnungs- und Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz? AlphaBeta135 talk 23:57, 1 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

FIGHT TIME! Ryanisgreat4444 (talk) 22:51, 1 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

OK, we've noticed one of our users is being held hostage. And we've had enough of his captor. Say all you want about her power, but we have more united in strength. Stay tuned for military updates, as we are committed to bringing 3PPYB6 home. — Wikipede (Secretary of Defense, Wikipedia) — 23:03, 1 April 2025 (UTC)

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! Yes, That Will (talk) 23:55, 1 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Hi. We know you've wanted updates on the status of 3PPYB6. He (the person) has been liberated. Unfortunately, the account has not been. Which turns us to... here. We have found you, One. And we will shut you down. — Wikipede (Secretary of Defense, Wikipedia) 23:56, 1 April 2025 (UTC)

(All hell breaks loose as a cacophony of gunfire, mind control, screaming, chanting, and possessions are in progress. We don't know who is winning) — The Narrator (talk) 23:58, 1 April 2025 (UTC)

(Noises of a glass-breaking female scream ensue; we don't know who the figure is) — The Narrator (talk) 00:00, 2 April 2025 (UTC)

Direct address from the Empress of the Wikipedian Empire: We have captured One and assumed control of 3PPYB6's account. More details will follow. — 3PPYB6 ^{(UNDER / DIRECT CONTROL OF / THE WIKIPEDIAN EMPIRE)} — 00:02, 2 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Good evening.
Tonight, I would like to report to all of Sane Wikipedia that the crisis that we will retroactively dub the One Affair has ended.
3PPYB6 has been liberated. All captives have been evacuated to a nearby hospital for further evaluation.
Unfortunately, because of that, 3PPYB6 cannot remain in control of this account. Wikipe-tan, the Empress of the Wikipedian Empire, has directly assumed control of this account as a result.
Our estimates, as put on 3PPYB6's user page, are that he can take full control of his account by 00:00, 3 April 2025. To clarify, this is the expected time of discharge from the hospital.
As for the perpetrator of this heinous crime against a Wikipedian, One has surrendered unconditionally. What this means is:

She is turned over to the authorities of the Wikipedian Empire for 10 counts of kidnapping and 1 count of terrorism

After completing her sentence, she is deported to Goiky and banned from re-entering the Wikipedian Empire for 10 years.

Any jurisdiction wishing to have us extradite One to their courts will have their requests granted, and our charges will be dropped in that case.

This has been a chaotic night, and I wish you well. Unfortunately, that is all I can state, and I cannot accept questions from the press per WP:FOOLS. Thank you. — PUZZLY ^{(SECRETARY OF STATE, WIKIPEDIA)} — 00:17, 2 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Relevant authorities would do well to close this page. — PUZZLY ^{(SECRETARY OF STATE, WIKIPEDIA)} — 00:21, 2 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive of the debate. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as the article's talk page or in a deletion review). No further edits should be made to this page.