Wikipedia:Peer review/Kočani nightclub fire/archive1

Kočani nightclub fire

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I've listed this article for peer review because I want a second opinion on this article before bringing it to GA. I'm especially concerned about flow/prose, since those are my weak points, and general readability.

Thanks, Grumpylawnchair (talk) 04:22, 19 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I thought the flow/prose was good and based on my very limited experience with GAN, i.e. doing one GAN review, I think you could take it there. I made a small number of tiny edits, e.g.: removing an extraneous space and defining what a report said about the size of a rally rather than using the word "massive". I also suggested not to use the word "refute", since it means that proof was provided by the person doing the refuting. About the lead section:

I would be tempted to make the first sentence of the third paragraph the second sentence of the article, since this really establishes the importance of the event in a very striking way.
In that sentence, I'm struggling a bit with the tenses. I think "It was the deadliest . . ." is probably correct for the beginning, with the end being: ". . . and is the deadliest fire in North Macedonia's history." This is because the present tense "is" only works as a reference to "history" - i.e. the abstract account of events that we have now. Someone might disagree and think that "since the 2015 Bucharest nightclub fire" can be the object of "is" in a similar way to "history", but IMHO that's too diffuse to work as a compound noun. However, I think this is probably equivocal and others may legitimately have different views.

Sonnyvalentino (talk) 10:46, 20 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Sonnyvalentino: Thanks for your comments. About bullet point #1, I think that would disrupt the flow of the lead since its in chronological order. I aimed for a clear structure: circumstances of fire --> immediate aftermath --> investigation/retrospect. #2 seems to have already been fixed in both places it occurs. Regards, Grumpylawnchair (talk) 16:46, 20 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Noleander

Ran the copyright violation tool, and it reported no problems... https://copyvios.toolforge.org/?lang=en&project=wikipedia&title=Ko%C4%8Dani+nightclub+fire

I see several of the sources are non-English e.g. "6 малолетници на возраст од 16 и 17 години загинаа во Кочани: Највозрасната жртва имаше 48 години"" . Have you personally read those non-English sources? I'm not sure what the policy is for GA, but I know that the FA criteria require that the nominator has personally read all the sources.

The Agency for Audio and Audiovisual Media Services requested that .. Consider clarifying what that agency is. Is it a government agency?

Name? A group then vandalized the Klasik café bar and a vehicle owned by the same individual associated with the Pulse nightclub. .. the owner is named later in the article: Dejan Jovanov, so may as well put the name within the cafe vandalism sentence.

Wording in Lead: amongst other things.. that phrase is not very encyclopedic. Consider eliminating it, or rewording.

Source flagged as unreliable: The "unreliable detector tool" at User:Headbomb/unreliable is issuing an orange "may be AI generated" warning for source:

Waterfield, Bruno (17 March 2025). "North Macedonia in mourning after 59 die in nightclub fire". The Times. Retrieved 17 March 2025.

You might want to double check that source.

Wording Local hospitals were severely ill-equipped to deal .. "severely" doesn't sound quite right. Consider eliminating the word, or reword.

Legal: current status? Readers will be curious about the current status of the prosecutions, especially (a) have any trials been started? Any charges dismissed; and (b) which of the suspects are still in jail vs released on bond? Consider adding something like "As of April 2025, investigations are still underway and no trials have commenced. All suspects have been released, except for A,B,C". I think that info is scattered in other places in the article, but it would be good to have it summarized as the final sentence of the Legal section.

Clarify/wroding: Politicians from the European Union,[207] Albania,[208] Azerbaijan,[209] ..... expressed their condolences over the loss of life and offered support to the Macedonian authorities. The "expressed condolences " should be in the frotn of the sentence.. the long list should be at the end. Otherwise it is difficult to parse. Consider: Governments and politicians from around the world expressed condolences, including the European Union, Albania, ...

Number of people? Body says about 650 people.. but infoBox says 500.

Will become outdated someday: It is the deadliest nightclub fire in Europe since the 2015 Bucharest nightclub fire ... The statement "It is .." will become inaccurate at the next larger fire. Consider using guidance from WP:As of and Template:As of.

Two sentences? According to interior minister Panče Toškovski, the building was only certified for light industry and not for catering, and there was no written contract between the band and the club owners. Those two thoughts are not very related to each other.

Images: I looked at the details of a couple of images, and the were correctly "free use".

That's all I can find. The article is in great shape, and should sail through the GA process easily. Noleander (talk) 23:53, 23 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]
@Noleander: Thanks for your comments and thorough review. To address your concerns:

1. Yes, I have read the Macedonian sources.

2. Clarified what the agency does on the first mention - it's a governmental media regulatory body

3. Fixed

4. Removed

5. I'll see if I can find any alternatives, but per WP:THETIMES, The Times is considered generally reliable.

6. Removed

7. Working on it, but I'm not sure how I'd properly source that.

8. Fixed

9. Good catch - fixed

10. Added {{as of}}

11. I wanted to show that Toškovski said both things, and it wouldn't make sense in my opinion to break the sentence up.

Again thanks a lot for your comments. Feel free to add more if you notice anything else. Regards, Grumpylawnchair (talk) 01:34, 25 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

FIM

Just a few suggestions. Pace a reviewer above, but I might offer it to the folk at WP:GOCE; the prose could be tweaked to tighten /remove repetition.

Examples (but avoiding WP:FIXLOOP)
The following discussion has been closed. Please do not modify it.
E.g... Pulse only needs mentioning the first time, and night club can be reduced to club (also consider premises, building etc depending on context); drywall ... drywall; 2.32 is not an approximation; "survivor" three in a row; "Per witnesses">"witnesses and the band's manager stated..."; "this includes"; "hospitalized in hospitals"; 4 April ... 7 April"; "media outlets" X4 in Funerals section.

"expressed confusion": Is that the phrase the source uses?
"there was no written contract between the band and the club owners": What band? Removed, not relevant to that section anyway
What's low ceilings got to do with capacity?
The para "An inspection after the fire revealed...": Is the Background section the best place for material on the investigation?
Is an "emergency electricity disconnect" a trip switch? Yes, fixed - I didn't know what they were called in English
Is there an inline conversion template for MKD>USD/EUR?
Also, Kostadinov's award might be better in Aftermath too. Done, moved to "Response" section
"Authorities rushed dozens ... Štip, Kočani and Skopje": This seems to be repeated in the injuries section (where it fits better). Also, these places should be wikilinked (as Vinica is earlier).
In fact, most of the places mentioned throughout the article should be linked on first occurrence.
What's a minor in North Macedonia? Added footnote with explanation
"This was the deadliest nightclub fire ... fire in North Macedonia's history": Suggest moving to Investigation. (Also note repetition of "deadliest".)
Why weren't all patrons carrying ID?
"Overexertion" could be linked.
Move Gocevski's colleague's social media post/Health Ministry comment to aftermath.
Mrs Gjorgjieski's pleas re, social media might fit better into the Funerals section, where the AAAMS makes a similar request.
Perhaps move Cvetkovska's theory to a footnote; the important bit is the asbestos in the ceiling and the mesothelioma concerns. Done, moved to footnote
"On 18 March" should go before the April deaths.
Vučić taking off his mask, and others not wearing them, is obviously making a point, but it's currently unclear what that point is. If it's relevant enough for inclusion, explain why; if not, remove.
Link civil protection program.
Military-Medical Academy or Military Medical Academy? Fixed, all instances now use the latter
Was only one funeral held in Kočani?
Do we know what the unnamed foreign reports had said to incense the NM government so much? (Or is it the same as the footage of graves etc mentioned in the next sentence? (But if so, then they are very much named outlets, surely?))
In fact the social media concerns are sufficient to justify their own subsection; there's more substantive discussion on them than on the funerals.
The mayor stepping down, etc, should be clarified to explain why a) the crowd called for him to "appear" and b) why he had already by then resigned (wouldn’t they have already known that? (And I suggest resign is a better word than "stepped down", but wouldn't push it).)
"the same individual associated with the Pulse nightclub": is curiously vague. "{{Who}}"
"massive": WP:TABLOID. Removed
What is a "timely notice"?
As it varies by country, I suggest a footnote to explain NM law surrounding drones.
Aftermath might be better titled e.g. Vigils and protests Done
And perhaps move the Investigation section before it; at the moment you have people protesting against (presumably) corruption without having actually mentioned corruption. Done
H'mmm. Surely it either had a licence or not, though?
We've gone all this time without finding out who owned Pulse?! Needs mentioning much earlier.
"the nightclub owner's": that would be Jovanov then
Might link house arrest.
What's your criteria for WP:REDYES wrt some members of government (e.g. Bekteshi, Neziri, Saliu) but not others (e.g. Đurović). Also, Mickoski (the Prime Minister!) isn't linked at all.
Re. Public response: seems more like the response of organisations rather than the public (whose very forthright response has already been covered above). Changed to just "Response"
Abbreviate AAAMS now that it's on its second use.
Why was the restriction against foreign music lifted?
If that currency conversion template is around, it can be used for these amounts too.
Finally, suggest MOS:ALT (|alt=) for the images.
Nice article; i hope these points/suggestions help. FYI I've reviewed to FAC level rather than GA; I assume that was what you wanted since nowadays I pretty much only review the former rather than the latter. As another mentioned above, it's probably GA-class already, but with a few tweaks, a bit of polish and some structural rearrangement, it could be closer to FA than GA. So you might want to think about that next step, if you haven't done so already :)
Congratulations on taking such a terrible tragedy and successfully writing it up neutrally and encyclopedically. (BTW I'm under the impression that you don't need to mark off, comment on or otherwise respond to my suggestions as you would be expected to at GAC/FAC, although of course you're allowed to by all means. Not a problem!) Fortuna, Imperatrix Mundi 13:01, 27 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]