Wikipedia:Peer review/Ben Roberts-Smith/archive1

Ben Roberts-Smith

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I've listed this article for peer review because I'm seeking feedback on how it can be improved prior to nominating it as a good article.

Thanks, TarnishedPath^talk 10:18, 1 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

G'day TP, great job so far. A few matters I consider should be addressed before GAN:

The lead now has five paragraphs when a long article can usually only justify three or four. They are too short and should be thematically or chronologically organised (I suggest the latter, along the lines of 1. notability (which clearly is a combination of the VC and war crimes allegations, at present the VC isn't even mentioned as a basis for notability in the first sentence) 2. early military career and decorations 3. post-military career 4. allegations of war crimes, trial and outcomes. There is no mention of his military career before Afghanistan or even how many times he deployed to Afghanistan and for how long each time. Or any mention of his service in East Timor or Iraq. I expect the last para will be larger than the others, of course, but the lead isn't a full summary of his life/the article at this point.
Early life and family is underdone for someone whose early story has been so well explored in the media and in books like Nick Mckenzie's.
I would roll the military career and decorations into one chronologically organised section and dispense with the uncited ribbon salad table the details of which (if it can be properly sourced) can be inserted into the military career section at the appropriate points chronologically. I would also expect to see a description of the events for which he was awarded the MG and VC.
I recommend against repeating raw allegations regarding Person 17 or other matters, I would use the findings from the defamation trial where most of these matters were given considerably airing and where Besanko made findings.
Generally, given there have been several long-form examinations of matters BRS is alleged to have been involved in, along with the trial judgement, I am very surprised to see that the article relies almost entirely on media reports.

Hope this helps. Ping me if you have any queries on the above or would like me to have a look once you've worked on it further? Cheers, Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 01:08, 15 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Peacemaker67, thankyou very much for your suggestions. Once I've done a bit of work I'll ping you for your advice. TarnishedPath^talk 01:18, 15 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Peacemaker67, I've reorganised the lead a bit adding in details that were missing and removing other stuff that isn't covered in the body in much detail. I've combined the military career and decorations sections, removing the unreferenced table. I've removed the stuff concerning person 17.

Still to do is expanding the early life section and expanding the military career and decorations section to include details of how they were awarded their decorations.

I've started reading McKenzie's book and I think that will help with the stuff still to do.

How does it look so far and do you have any other suggestions? TarnishedPath^talk 10:32, 4 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

G'day, some significant improvements. For the lead sentence, it is important to establish the full basis of his notability in the first sentence. I suggest something like:

Benjamin Roberts-Smith VC, MG (born 1 November 1978) is a recipient of the Victoria Cross for Australia – the highest award for gallantry in battle that can be awarded to a member of the Australian armed forces, who was found in a 2023 civil defamation trial to have committed war crimes (including murder) in 2009, 2010 and 2012 while deployed to Afghanistan.

Clearly BRS was already notable for the VC, and the further notability from the war crimes came later, so it makes sense to present them in that manner.

I would move the other decorations to the end of the second paragraph, and I would insert when he joined the SASR into the second para narrative at the appropriate point. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 06:09, 5 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for that suggestion, I was thinking of a way to word it into one sentence. TarnishedPath^talk 06:44, 5 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

How's that look? Any other suggestions?

The stuff to do with his early life and what he was awarded his medals for is going to take me longer as I need to do a bit of reading. TarnishedPath^talk 06:50, 5 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I think I've probably expanded the military career and early life sections as much as I can at this point. @Peacemaker67 is what I've done sufficient do you think to make a WP:GA nomination? Do you have any other advice? TarnishedPath^talk 08:16, 13 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]