Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Luna (Feid and ATL Jacob song)/archive2

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was archived by Ian Rose via FACBot (talk) 6 April 2025 [1].

Luna (Feid and ATL Jacob song)

Nominator(s): Santi (talk) 21:39, 10 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I think that this is the most-successful song of the Feid's career so far. After getting viral on TikTok a few days after its respective EP release, the song topped charts in eight countries in Latin America, and appeared at the top ten on another eight ones. It also peaked at number one in Spain and 35 in Portugal. Being officially B1 and improving the article searching formal ways to address and getting a higher level, I think this article is already for a FAC. If not, show me below. Santi (talk) 21:39, 10 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from magiciandude

Before I begin my review, I just want to ask to be sure, have you had the chance to get this article copy-edited at WP:GOCE/REQ? If not, I highly suggest doing so, because some of the prose doesn't sound right, such as "A reggaeton heartbreak song inspired by a night that Villada spent in Madrid watching the moon through a window, the song has lyrics about a woman leaving a past relationship to go with a new person.", it might sound better as "It is a reggaeton song inspired by a night that Villada spent in Madrid. Lyrically, the song is about a woman leaving a past relationship to go with a new person". EDIT: Also suggest using No Me Queda Más as a template on how to write a FA-class article. Erick (talk) 21:55, 10 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks a lot, mate. Correcting it. Santi (talk) 22:11, 10 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Magiciandude: Would you mind telling me how many sentences look strange? If they are more than 10 (sentences that a FAC usually addresses), I will send it to GOCE as you said. Santi (talk) 00:37, 11 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I'm not sure the article is ready yet to be honest. There are some sentences that I don't think belong in the article like Le pido a Dios being nominated for Latin Grammy, did it influence Luna in any way? Erick (talk) 16:47, 11 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Magiciandude: I made sure that nothing in the article is redundant, so that the prose can be fixed. "Luna" was nominated to the same category as "Le Pido a Dios". Unlike the other song, it failed to win, though. So I think that users will thank me for it. Regarding your opinion, so you will proceed to oppose this nom, will not you? Santi (talk) 20:45, 11 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Well I like to do is get some ideas and see what other users say. I'm not a fan of opposing right away when it comes to feature content. Erick (talk) 21:35, 11 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

OK. So I will proceed to send it to GOCE, as there is not policy that does not allow this and FAC at the same time, just with GAN and PR. Thank you for your recommendations and patience, you are so special. Santi (talk) 21:40, 11 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Magiciandude: The article was already addressed by GOCE. So, you can proceed to review the article whether you want to. Santi (talk) 00:49, 27 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Pollosito Hi there. Sorry about the late response. Unfortunately, per IntentionallyDense's comments, I cannot continue or support the article until the issues he brought up are resolved. I'm really sorry. Erick (talk) 16:22, 4 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Magiciandude@Magiciandude: Yeah, I see, but third time's a charm! Thanks to everyone here for the patience. Santi (talk) 16:39, 4 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

IntentionallyDense

leaving a past relationship to go with a new person reword to "leaving a past relationship for a new person" or something similar. I just think the wording could be better here.
Put the abbreviation for EP in brackets by the full term
He also revealed its contents, with "Luna" as the sixth track. consider wording as "revealed the albums contents, listing "luna" as the sixth track" or something along those lines
Universal Latino released "Luna" as part of the album on December 1. Wouldn't it make more sense to say they released the album here
and provided background vocals. it is unclear based on your wording who provided backup vocals
hey begin with Villada remembering good moments of that ended relationship remove "ended" to just read as "remembering good moments of the (could put former) relationship"
the most viral part of the song on the social media platform TikTok. it's unclear from your wording which part of the song went viral
labeled "Luna" as the new breakup anthem without any doubt. the without any doubt could be removed
which was released through YouTube on change through to on
The music video section could use some rewording and copyediting
Wikilink "equivalent units"
it climbed one spot to the top of the Latin Airplay consider wording as "it climbed from number two to number one" or something like that
increase of 15% to 10.73 million audience impressions in the country something about this is hard to read and understand. Could you reword it a bit?

That's all I have for now. Ping me when you can get back to me or if you have any questions. IntentionallyDense ^(Contribs) 17:08, 29 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@IntentionallyDense: Comments already addressed. Santi (talk) 00:03, 31 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Second round of feedback:

It doesn't really make sense, in my opinion, to introduce Feid's full name in the second mention of them and not the first. To avoid the first sentence from getting too long you could add it as a footnote.
Jacob, Hendrix Smoke, EVRGRN, 254Bodi, and FritzOnDaTrak produced it. if relevant (meaning if their full names are somewhat known) it may be worth adding a footnote with the producers names if not stated elsewhere.
It is a reggaeton heartbreak song inspired by a night that Villada spent in Madrid. Lyrically, the song is about a woman leaving a past relationship for a new person. the first half of the first sentence and the second sentence essentially say the same thing. If you could think of a way to combine these two sentences it may sound better
and proposed a cancelled remix with the Puerto Rican rapper Don Omar. is it really cancelled if there didn't seem to be a plan for the remix in the first place? you could leave it open ended at "proposed a remix" and just leave the elaboration for the body
Hendrix Smoke, EVRGRN, 254Bodi, and FritzOnDaTrack also co-produced it. also is redundant here.
Villada running in the desert and singing along the song around a car with Jacob at his side may sound better as singing along with the song or singing the song
Depicting a broken relationship, a woman gets dressed and walks inside her house and hires three gang members to shoot her partner (played by Villada), replace first "and" with a comma
increasing by 15% to 10.73 million when giving percentages like this it might be helpful to gice the original number so it would read as "increasing by x%, from y to z"

Thanks for getting back to me. Ping when you're able to reply. IntentionallyDense ^(Contribs) 05:03, 31 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@IntentionallyDense: Comments addressed. Subject adjusted based on SZA articles. Santi (talk) 16:40, 31 March 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Taking a third look at this article, I feel as though it could still use some work prose wise. I'm going to avoid another round of feedback to avoid getting into a WP:FIXLOOP. This is all to say that I am unfortunately going to have to oppose this nomination. The prose just isn't what I would expect to see in a FA. Moving forward I'd suggest maybe reaching out to a WP:FAM or opening a peer review after attempting to fix the prose yourself. IntentionallyDense ^(Contribs) 04:03, 3 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@IntentionallyDense: I see that the GOCE did not work well. Thanks for the veredict. Santi (talk) 05:07, 3 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry I'm coming back to comment on this, but it's not that GOCE didn't work well, it's just that FA level prose is out of the scope of what GOCE is meant to help with. IntentionallyDense ^(Contribs) 20:00, 5 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Coordinator note

This has been open for more than three weeks and has yet to pick up a support. Unless it attracts considerable movement towards a consensus to promote over the next three or four days I am afraid that it is liable to be archived. Gog the Mild (talk) 20:26, 2 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@IntentionallyDense; @Aoba47; @MaranoFan; @Magiciandude; @Skyshifter; @Crisco 1492. Pinging two of the current reviewers and asking for some help to four more due to concern. Anyway, I will proceed to write in their talk pages. Santi (talk) 01:22, 3 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from MaranoFan

"The video was praised by the public and music critics" - I don't understand what is meant by "the public" here
"The song received several awards and nominations" - I am counting five. Would it be okay if we removed the word "several"? That word is also reused in the sentence right after, from a repetitiveness point of view.
"Feid surprisingly launched his first extended play" - I think the term in this instance would still be "surprise launched" and not "surprisingly launched"
"Universal Latino released the album alongside the song on December 1. On March 1, 2024, they sent the track to Italian radio as a single. On April 7" - This reads like a collection of too many dates in too close proximity imo. Why not experiment with terms like "three months later" if the exact date isn't important?
I have not seen this type of use of Tooltip for translations before. I wish I had the time to do it myself, but could you locate any existing FAs that use this method for giving translations? This is the English Wikipedia, so it seems odd the English translation would be hidden unless the text is hovered over.
"Being the most played song on Los 40's radio stations in all available countries for three non-consecutive weeks, Miguel Ángel Bargueño described the production as "elegante"" - I do not think this makes grammatical sense. Miguel Ángel Bargueño was the most played song on Los 40's radio stations? ChatGPT might be able to help you rephrase for correctness.
"Depicting a broken relationship, a woman gets dressed, walks inside her house and hires three gang members to shoot her partner (played by Feid), who tried to fix things with her by carrying orange gerberas" - I think there's a similar grammatical error here. I am guessing you want to say the video depicts this, not the woman?

I think I have to say oppose at the moment as articles should not be at the FAC process with basic grammatical errors. There's some way to go for this to be one of the best articles produced by the Wikipedia community. TI have not done any external research to determine if the article is comprehensive so this is limited to prose. Best, N Ø 08:21, 5 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@MaranoFan: The few gramatical mistakes were due to intentional ignorance in my B2 classes. I just viewed about this a few days ago. So, before closing the page, I will do as much grammar fixing as I can, and you can tell me if the article is better. Santi (talk) 20:07, 5 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Coord note

The consensus seems to be that this article is under-prepared for FAC so I'm archiving it. Per above I'd recommend PR and/or mentoring as next step/s before a re-nom here. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 09:16, 5 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Ian Rose: Just wait a while per above. Santi (talk) 20:07, 5 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@MaranoFan; @IntentionallyDense; @Magiciandude: I saw many grammar mistakes that have been solved, I think the article is slightly better. Santi (talk) 20:31, 5 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I did them based on my recent B2 classes. I am not assuring that the article is going to be approved, because the mistakes are not just grammar. Santi (talk) 20:32, 5 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

My edit archiving the nom obviously didn't go through. Please continue the improvements outside FAC per my prev. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 00:04, 6 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Closing note: This candidate has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see WP:FAC/ar, and leave the {{featured article candidates}} template in place on the talk page until the bot goes through. Ian Rose (talk) 00:05, 6 April 2025 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.