Talk:Pearl City High School (Hawaii)/GA1

GA review

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Nominator: Theadventurer64 (talk · contribs) 04:50, 15 March 2025 (UTC)

Reviewer: It is a wonderful world (talk · contribs) 12:52, 18 April 2025 (UTC)

Hello @Theadventurer64, I'll review this. The first concern that jumps out at me on a preliminary scan is short length of the article. This may be because there is a lack of reliable sources on the subject (in which case the shortness is justified), or because the article is not sufficiently broad in its coverage (GA criterion 3). Therefore I will start this review in addressing the scope of the article. IAWW (talk) 12:53, 18 April 2025 (UTC)

Hi @Theadventurer64, the comments regarding the article's scope are below. When these have been addressed, I will continue with reviewing the other criteria. Let me know if you think you can finish addressing these in the next few days or so, otherwise it would be best to fail the GAN, then work on the article outside of the GA system, and then renominate when the broadness concerns have been addressed. IAWW (talk) 12:57, 18 April 2025 (UTC)

Sounds good. I added additional information regarding the school's academics. I should also note that this is a public school in the United States, and while most schools have a dress code, a large majority (as of now) do not have a uniform policy (only 18%), compared to Europe, where 90% of both secondary and primary schools have uniforms. Theadventurer64 (talk) 22:18, 22 April 2025 (UTC)

Great, ping me when all the scope concerns have been addressed :) IAWW (talk) 06:44, 23 April 2025 (UTC)

Hi @Theadventurer64, I started the prose review below. There are some points which may require significant alteration to the text to resolve, so I'll wait for those to be resolved before continuing the prose review. The biggest issue is the lack of secondary sourcing in the Extracurricular activities section. IAWW (talk) 20:38, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

Prose (Criteria 1a, 1b, 4) clock

Lead

I'll look at the lead last, once I am more familiar with the content of the article. Some quick comments on a cursory glance though:

The function of the lead is to summarise the article. This means the lead should pretty much only include information that is also included elsewhere in the article. In this lead, there is some important information missing from the lead, and some information that is only in the lead. Both of these categories should be fixed. IAWW (talk) 19:58, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

Per WP:LEADCITE, citations should not be in the lead for an uncontroversial article like this. IAWW (talk) 19:58, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

Suggest linking "Pearl City" IAWW (talk) 19:58, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

Done. Thanks Theadventurer64 (talk) 21:30, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

History

then-governor: Governor of what? IAWW (talk) 20:34, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

Governor of Hawaii; Thought it was implied, but I can add clarification. Theadventurer64 (talk) 21:30, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

Would be good, in case the reader doesn't know about the structure of Hawaiian leadership (like me!) IAWW (talk) 10:04, 1 May 2025 (UTC)

It's a US thing, though? I can add it anyway Theadventurer64 (talk) 20:57, 1 May 2025 (UTC)

In May 1971, then-governor John A. Burns released 2.8 million in funding for the development of the school.: Needs citation. Also, is there any information on why the school was established? IAWW (talk) 19:58, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

I used the sources you provided, I can add a citation to the clipping; As for why the school was established, I can do some research on that Theadventurer64 (talk) 21:32, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

Looks to me that the school existed before 1971, with an article dating all the way back to the 1920s. My guess is that it was part of a school complex that consisted of primary and secondary schools, and it wasn't until the 1960s when the groundbreaking occurred when a separate campus was considered. Theadventurer64 (talk) 01:35, 1 May 2025 (UTC)

only Buildings A and B: The building letters don't really add anything for the reader here, so I think they are unnecessary detail. I suggest rephrasing to "two buildings". IAWW (talk) 20:34, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

Fixed. Theadventurer64 (talk) 01:39, 1 May 2025 (UTC)

Buildings C through F, as well as Buildings K through M: Same here IAWW (talk) 20:34, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

and students were provided with slop buckets for food disposal: Unnecessary detail – I'm sure there were lots of procedures that are different from now in 1971. IAWW (talk) 20:34, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

The second paragraph needs a citation. IAWW (talk) 20:34, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

the school had an arson fire: The sources I provided don't say it was definitely arson I think. I think they just said arson was suspected. IAWW (talk) 20:34, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

Thanks for the clarification, I'll double check and reevaluate. Theadventurer64 (talk) 21:56, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

along with "important paperwork" according to the school's principal: I think this is unnecessary detail, but I'm also not opposed to keeping this bit. IAWW (talk) 20:34, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

Campus

During its inaugural year, the school operated with only Buildings A and B. Over time, the campus expanded to include Buildings C through F, as well as Buildings K, L, and M.: Repeated information. You can cut it either here or in the history section. IAWW (talk) 20:34, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

Where is the campus track in relation to the rest of the school? IAWW (talk) 20:34, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

Does that need to be added? Afaik, there isn't a notable source that has info about the track's location other than the map, which I think constitutes original research Theadventurer64 (talk) 21:28, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

This is a very minor point, I should have put it in suggestions. The point is that the location of the auditorium is given, but the location of this is not. It doesn't really make sense saying where one of the buildings is but none of the others. IAWW (talk) 10:07, 1 May 2025 (UTC)

Suggest linking "artifical turf" IAWW (talk) 20:34, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

Done. Added additional links as well Theadventurer64 (talk) 21:56, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

What are "press box and bleachers"? IAWW (talk) 20:34, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

A press box is a place where organizations can stream the games that happen on the field from. Bleachers are places where spectators can sit and watch the game Theadventurer64 (talk) 21:29, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

Thanks for explaining and linking IAWW (talk) 10:08, 1 May 2025 (UTC)

The performance center, formerly known as the Pearl City Cultural Center: What is it known as now? Assuming the performance center isn't the same thing as the auditorium? IAWW (talk) 20:34, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

They're the same thing. When the center was named, it was changed to a Performance Arts Center from a Cultural Center. Theadventurer64 (talk) 21:52, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

Could you make it a bit clearer that these are the same thing? IAWW (talk) 10:09, 1 May 2025 (UTC)

is also home to a time capsule from the school: Unnecessary detail I think IAWW (talk) 20:34, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

Curriculum

Per HIDOE: Normally you want to define an acronym the first time it is used outside of the lead. IAWW (talk) 20:34, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

In 2016, the school earned a bronze medal on their national ranking.: Citation needed, what national ranking? Also, saying they finished third would be clearer assuming that is the case. IAWW (talk) 20:34, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

US News. "finished" doesn't neccesarily make sense imo since it's not a competition Theadventurer64 (talk) 21:52, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

Fair, how about "placed"? IAWW (talk) 10:09, 1 May 2025 (UTC)

Clubs

The extracurricular activities section is almost entirely based off primary sources. It needs some secondary sources or it doesn't have sufficient notability. IAWW (talk) 20:34, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

Is the idea that extracurricular activities are notable themselves good enough to keep the section? Theadventurer64 (talk) 21:54, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

Yes in my opinion, but it would need to be cut to about a fifth of the size if secondary sources can't be found. But there are probably some available right? IAWW (talk) 10:12, 1 May 2025 (UTC)

Charger Band

The Charger Marching Band participated in the 2011 London New Year's Day Parade, spending ten days in Paris and London: The YouTube video this is cited to is not a reliable source unfortunately.

Athletics

In 1997, the girls' soccer team won the championship and the boys' soccer team won in 1999.: Is soccer especially notable in Hawaii? IAWW (talk) 20:34, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

I suppose so. It's a state championship, which would be considered notable I believe. Theadventurer64 (talk) 21:19, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

Notable alumni

Everything should be cited

Scope (Criteria 3a, 3b) clock

Two examples of fully comprehensive school articles are Kesteven and Sleaford High School and Sleaford Joint Sixth Form. Unlike the Pearl City High School article, both these articles include sections on history, uniform/dress code, exam results and management. They are also much more detailed in sections like "alumni" and operational structure.

This is not an issue if there is a lack of reliable sourcing on these areas for Pearl City High School, so I will check to see if this is the case:

• Searching on newspapers.com for "pearl city high school" between 1971 and 1984 in Hawaii gives over 1500 results which can be broadly scanned for major events.
• Going through the first two pages, I found: this report about a $60,000 fire and this information about a government grant
• If you don't have access to newspapers.com, you can get it for free through the Wikipedia Library. Alternatively you might be able to find information on Google. Note that you do not need to document every significant event, just do the best you can to create a coherent "History" section.
• this source can be used for basic info.
• The latest exam results and performance ratings should definitely be included. This source appears to be reliable.
• I could only find primary sourcing for the information on uniform and management, but nonetheless I think this should be included to be sufficiently broad. IAWW (talk) 12:52, 18 April 2025 (UTC)

It appears that there is not as wide a range of reliable sourcing on this article as the ones I compared it to earlier, so the article's short length is somewhat justified. However there is still some significant information missing, which I summarized in the above six bullet points. I think that when those six bullet points have been addressed, this article will be close to meeting the broadness requirement. So, when you have addressed those issues, I will continue with the rest of the review. IAWW (talk) 12:52, 18 April 2025 (UTC)

Created a History section, but not sure how to reduce redundancy with the "Campus" section; For the uniforms and managements, are they necessary? While I understand their significance in United Kingdom based articles, I feel as though they're unnecessary here, as a majority of US-based school articles don't have information regarding them. As for Leadership, I feel the section may be redundant; There's a list of the principals on the school history website, but no information about them that would make them considered "notable" from my perspective. However, I do understand that you may have a unique perspective on this article, as you have worked on getting many articles up to Good status in the past.

As for adding additional information to the History section, I submitted an application to view newspapers.com through the Wikipedia library and currently am waiting to hear back on whether or not my application will be processed.

Thank you, Theadventurer64 (talk) 22:29, 24 April 2025 (UTC)

Hi @Theadventurer64, I agree that uniforms are not necessary. I wasn't aware that they were mostly a European phenomenon. I think a small bullet pointed list of principles would be nice after the alumni section, but I don't think you need to add anymore than that. To reduce redundancy with the "Campus" section, you can move everything about the history of the campus from the "Campus" section to the "History" section. This is the approach taken in most high-quality articles I believe.

Great to hear you are working on getting access to newspapers.com – it's really an invaluable resource. Don't stress about making the "History" section comprehensive – that would require hours of digging through newspaper archives. Just a broad outline including some events found in the archives is fine enough for GA. IAWW (talk) 07:31, 25 April 2025 (UTC)

Alright, no worries. Thank you for looking into my message regarding uniforms! I should also note that a list of principals were added at one point, but were removed back in 2015 for being "unnotable" . Would it make a difference that if added back, a citation was added, or should it be omitted completely because of this changelog? Theadventurer64 (talk) 18:31, 25 April 2025 (UTC)

Hi @Theadventurer64 well done for challenging this. I just remembered the guideline WP:ABOUTSELF which states that primary self-published sources can not "involve claims about third parties". Since the principles are technically third parties, including them violates this policy. I pushed broadness a bit too far here. IAWW (talk) 09:49, 26 April 2025 (UTC)

Alright, no worries. Is the article good to go then? Theadventurer64 (talk) 19:16, 26 April 2025 (UTC)

Most my scope concerns have been addressed. I have just clipped three sources from newspapers.com which can be used to expand the history section a bit (you can now access them whether you have a newspapers.com subscription or not). Two are about a fire and one is about a government grant:

• https://www.newspapers.com/article/honolulu-star-bulletin-pearl-city-high-s/171157554/
• https://www.newspapers.com/article/hawaii-tribune-herald-pearl-city-high-sc/171157495/
• https://www.newspapers.com/article/honolulu-star-bulletin-grant-for-pearl-c/171157667/

Once these have been integrated I will have no further concerns about broadness and will do the rest of the review. IAWW (talk) 21:15, 26 April 2025 (UTC)

Done. Theadventurer64 (talk) 18:12, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

Great thank you. IAWW (talk) 10:12, 1 May 2025 (UTC)

Suggestions (not needed for GA promotion)

A map of the school would be rather nice, it would also add context to the building names so they wouldn't need to be removed. A map could be made by labelling a screenshot of the map that is already linked in the article. IAWW (talk) 20:34, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

Alright. If there's a way I can upload it under non-free use. Theadventurer64 (talk) 21:44, 30 April 2025 (UTC)

You could upload it under non-free use, or ideally make a free use one by annotating a screenshot of this. I wouldn't worry about this for now though, since it isn't part of the GA criteria. IAWW (talk) 10:16, 1 May 2025 (UTC)

2023-2024: Should be an em-dash (MOS:DASH). I'll fix these myself though.