Talk:Croatian state right/GA1
GA Review
[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Nominator: Tomobe03 (talk · contribs) 18:50, 20 July 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: Lee Vilenski (talk · contribs) 16:43, 11 December 2024 (UTC)
Hello, I am planning on reviewing this article for GA Status, over the next couple of days. Thank you for nominating the article for GA status. I hope I will learn some new information, and that my feedback is helpful.
If nominators or editors could refrain from updating the particular section that I am updating until it is complete, I would appreciate it to remove a edit conflict. Please address concerns in the section that has been completed above (If I've raised concerns up to references, feel free to comment on things like the lede.)
I generally provide an overview of things I read through the article on a first glance. Then do a thorough sweep of the article after the feedback is addressed. After this, I will present the pass/failure. I may use strikethrough tags when concerns are met. Even if something is obvious why my concern is met, please leave a message as courtesy.
Best of luck! you can also use the {{done}} tag to state when something is addressed. Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs)
Please let me know after the review is done, if you were happy with the review! Obviously this is regarding the article's quality, however, I want to be happy and civil to all, so let me know if I have done a good job, regardless of the article's outcome.
Links
[edit]- I took a look at four sources, but only one was actually translatable. I'll have to AGF on the others. Seems reliable enough, and what I saw in one seems to cover what is being cited to it. Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:21, 11 December 2024 (UTC)
Prose
[edit]Lede
[edit]- You have to read a lede sentence as if you don't know what the subject is. What does "legal concept in Croatian law that represents the entirety of Croatia's rules on the establishment and functioning of government and public administrative bodies" mean. Try
legal concept in Croatian law which represents the countries rules on the government and public administrative bodies
. Even that is a bit wordy for me. Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 18:23, 11 December 2024 (UTC)
Done as suggested. --Tomobe03 (talk) 19:42, 25 December 2024 (UTC)
- It is also used[according to whom?] Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 18:26, 11 December 2024 (UTC)
- Current constitution. I have combined the sentence in question with the final sentence of the first paragraph since both address the same issue (sovereignty) - the latter stating that this is in reference to the Constitution.
Done Tomobe03 (talk) 18:29, 16 December 2024 (UTC)
- Current constitution. I have combined the sentence in question with the final sentence of the first paragraph since both address the same issue (sovereignty) - the latter stating that this is in reference to the Constitution.
- Its application is pointed out[according to whom?] Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 18:26, 11 December 2024 (UTC)
- Rephrased to say by whom.
Done --Tomobe03 (talk) 19:38, 25 December 2024 (UTC)
- Rephrased to say by whom.
- The first sentence says it is a legal concept, but then later it says that it's a coined phrase. Which is it? Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 18:26, 11 December 2024 (UTC)
- Rephrased for consistency.
Done --Tomobe03 (talk) 19:38, 25 December 2024 (UTC)
- Rephrased for consistency.
- Why is Dissertation in italics? Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 18:28, 11 December 2024 (UTC)
- It's the title of a booklet issued by Drašković anonymously and it is italiised per MOS:ITALICTITLE. Tomobe03 (talk) 18:15, 16 December 2024 (UTC)
- Is it really the title though? Dissertation is just a word for a long format essay. Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 20:34, 16 December 2024 (UTC)
- It is customary reference to that particular work (as well as the name of a long format essay). I have added the full title and information abouth the customary short title as well as reference to back back the claim.
Done Tomobe03 (talk) 00:14, 20 December 2024 (UTC)
- It is customary reference to that particular work (as well as the name of a long format essay). I have added the full title and information abouth the customary short title as well as reference to back back the claim.
- Is it really the title though? Dissertation is just a word for a long format essay. Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 20:34, 16 December 2024 (UTC)
- It's the title of a booklet issued by Drašković anonymously and it is italiised per MOS:ITALICTITLE. Tomobe03 (talk) 18:15, 16 December 2024 (UTC)
- In general I think the lede could do with a bit of tidying up. It doesn't do a fantastic job of explaining what the subject is, which isn't great for a lede. Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 18:28, 11 December 2024 (UTC)
- I have had a go at the lede prose to clarify it as much as I thought appropriate and I believe it is
Done. Could you have another look?--Tomobe03 (talk) 11:39, 23 December 2024 (UTC)
- I have had a go at the lede prose to clarify it as much as I thought appropriate and I believe it is
General
[edit]- proposed and promoted - what's the difference in this context? Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 18:33, 11 December 2024 (UTC)
- None, removed the redundancy
Done Tomobe03 (talk) 18:19, 16 December 2024 (UTC)
- None, removed the redundancy
- We talk about stuff happening in the 19th century, then the 18th, why not chronological? Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 18:33, 11 December 2024 (UTC)
- Reordered as suggested
Done Tomobe03 (talk) 18:20, 16 December 2024 (UTC)
- Reordered as suggested
- the Sabor (Croatia's parliament)
- magyarisation (assimilation to the Kingdom of Hungary)
- I don't understand why we wouldn't put the thing we want to explain first, and then in brackets the technical name for it. Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 18:33, 11 December 2024 (UTC)
Done Tomobe03 (talk) 18:19, 16 December 2024 (UTC)
- "political people", - when using a direct quote you should cite immediately afterwards. Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:19, 11 December 2024 (UTC)
Review meta comments
[edit]- I'll begin the review as soon as I can! If you fancy returning the favour, I have a list of nominations for review at WP:GAN and WP:FAC, respectively. I'd be very grateful if you were to complete one of these if you get time. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:45, 11 December 2024 (UTC)
Thank you for taking up the review. I'll be back to editing on Monday and I expect to address the issues you raised then. Cheers--Tomobe03 (talk) 19:15, 13 December 2024 (UTC)
- Comments: @Lee Vilenski and Tomobe03: Where are we regarding the status of this article? It's been a while since this review was updated and with the GANR backlog drive coming up I want to make sure all potential articles are able to be included. IntentionallyDense (Contribs) 20:41, 25 December 2024 (UTC)
- I believe all reviewer's comments raised above have been addressed now. It took me a while to get enough time to edit, so apologies from my part for slow progress. Tomobe03 (talk) 20:49, 25 December 2024 (UTC)