Talk:Leo McLaughlin

Leo McLaughlin is currently a Politics and government good article nominee. Nominated by Jon698 (talk) at 21:00, 31 May 2025 (UTC)

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Short description: American politician

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	This article was accepted from this draft on 25 September 2022 by reviewer Ingenuity (talk · contribs).

Biography: Politics and Government

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Politics

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GA review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Leo McLaughlin/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: Jon698 (talk · contribs) 21:00, 31 May 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Actuall7 (talk · contribs) 07:25, 30 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I'd like to review this article. Please expect my review soon. – actuall7 (talk | contrib) 07:25, 30 July 2025 (UTC)[reply]

@Jon698: Courtesy ping, as it has been a few days and you appear to be actively editing. I assume you don't have this page watchlisted, so I'm just letting you know. – actuall7 (talk | contrib) 02:26, 4 August 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the ping. I did not have the page watchlisted. I will respond to your comments as soon as possible. Jon698 (talk) 03:39, 4 August 2025 (UTC)[reply]

I have done most of your comments, except for the mayoralty section and adding image, in this edit. I will get to the rest in due time. Jon698 (talk) 18:34, 5 August 2025 (UTC)[reply]

initial checks

Earwig gives a low 16% chance of copyvio, which is mainly similar sentences.
Article has no images, which is a shame but not a requirement. Would suggest maybe adding a non-free image?

Actually, this image should be free to use, as it was taken by Associated Press in 1952, per this explanation on AP copyright status from 1930 to 1963.

Article is stable, with a few IP edits in the past.

lead

mayor of Hot Springs, Arkansas from 1927 to 1947 -> Should this use a MOS:GEOCOMMA?
Would link political machine both here and in the body.
was educated at Hot Springs High School while shortly attending the University of Arkansas. -> Could you clarify this? The wording suggests that he attended university the same time he attended Hot Springs High School. Also, I'm unsure if these are related as they are mentioned separately in two different sections of the article.
He entered politics in the 1910s with him serving as a member of the state house -> Trim: He entered politics in the 1910s as a member of the state house
He was temporarily out of politics after being drafted into the United States Army -> "out of politics" reads awkwardly, would suggest: He left politics temporarily after being drafted into the United States Army
During his tenure illegal gambling was rampant and criminals, such as Al Capone and Lucky Luciano, received protection. -> Would reword to flow better: During his tenure, illegal gambling was rampant, and criminals – such as Al Capone and Lucky Luciano – received protection.

Early life and education

He graduated from Hot Springs High School in 1908 -> Would replace the "he" with "McLaughlin" to indicate that we're no longer talking about John.

Career

He replaced J.A. Stallcup -> Spacing: He replaced J. A. Stallcup
Other than that, no real issues here.

Mayoralty

Is there no background on the elections, or any campaigning he did for them? Reading this source, it appears McLaughlin did do some campaigning along with other things not mentioned in the article.
Is there any background on why McLaughlin did these things? I assume it was a different time period, where crime would obviously be more rampant, but what led him to become a corrupt mayor?
Overall, I feel there should be more explanation/outcomes on his actions, as it currently feels like random mentions of corrupt things he did with no real consequences or follow-up on them.
Sid McMath was one of the leading opponents against McLaughlin's political machine and the Government Improvement League, which was made up almost entirely of veterans, was formed under his leadership in 1945. -> Sentence doesn't flow well, and its unclear who formed the Government Improvement League.

Later life and death

No issues.

Personal life

No issues.

Have finished my prose review, and will move onto the source review once above is addressed. Feel free to ping me when done. – actuall7 (talk | contrib) 03:57, 1 August 2025 (UTC)[reply]